INGREDIENTS OF A GREAT LIFE by Ubong Essien

A great life is a distinguishable life. It is a life remarkable for its ability and character. And when we talk of great men, we refer to the competent, the well-informed and fully-deserving characterized only by a ranking considerably above the  normal or average. They command our admiration. The very reason great men have come to be our favourites-folks we consider as the best in their fields. People, who by their example inspire us with a view to bringing out the best in us. This piece x-rays the ingredients common to great lives. Each is considered very important in the entire greatness mix.

Great Men are Focused Men

Great men understand in the words of Bobb Biehl that, “focus precedes success.” They realize they can only be renowned for a specifics and not generics so they bring all their energies to bear on the purpose at hand – the one that matters. In the words of Andrew Carnegie, “they put all their eggs in one basket, and then sit to watch that basket.” Not dissipating their resource and energy on too many things, no matter how lofty. That is why we know them. Henry Ford is remembered for his achievement in the auto world; Faraday in electricity; Walt Disney for his animations; Philo Farnsworth for the electronic TV. 

These men who see themselves primarily as being on an assignment, with an object in view. To them, the main thing must always remain the main thing. And just like Seneca remarked, “they know the harbor to which they are headed. So they position themselves accordingly to catch the winds to take them there.” Little wonder they become specialists. We are still in the era of the specialist. And the management gurus of our time are today telling organizations to cut down on many and varied interests and gravitates towards key area of strength. The admonition is very simple: focus, focus, focus. In their view it is better to be strong somewhere than become weak everywhere. There’s no point trying to become too many things at all, when you can become one outstanding thing to all.

My counsel to you, if you ever desire to be great, is “never want many things.” Even Jesus told busy Martha that, “one thing is needful.” And God hates the unfocused. He describes such as being double-minded, undecided and uncertain in all their ways; that become so unstable and are unable to keep a steady course. The consequence is that he should not hope to receive anything from the Lord. Beware of divided loyalty. Determine exactly what you want in life. And in so doing, you will have made the most important decision of your life. “for you have to know what you want”, remarked Douglas  Lurtan,  “In order to attain it.” Conficus observed that “he who chases two rabbits catches none.” So, find your purpose or business and then mind it. Be warned therefore that “he who wishes to fulfill his mission in this world must be a man of one idea, that is, of one great overmastering purpose, overshadowing all his aims, and guiding and controlling his entire life.”(Julius Bate)

Great Men Let Go of the Past

The past, whether good or bad; success or failure; does not hold much significance in the life of great men. The renowned Apostle Paul said, “forgetting the things that are behind me.” Paul lived in a state of constant forgetfulness of past victories, defeats, faults etc. this is one character worth emulating. Great men see their past experiences whatever – as guideposts, not as hitching spot. They understand that the failures of yesterday are not worth brooding over as they drain the impetus for the future. Neither are the triumphs gone by to be endlessly relished as they cloud the need the future progress. They simply put the past right where it belongs – in the past! This is worth following.

So many today consider their background and conclude their unfitness for greatness. This ought not to be. Had Philo Farnsworth considered he was merely a peasant farm boy who later became an orphan; his dream for the TV would have died with him. What about Abraham Lincoln, his past record is perhaps one of the worst I have ever seen. Failing I business, losing all kinds of election and even losing his wife – all over a period of nearly 3 decades – yet he became one of America’s most outstanding presidents. So why the much ado about the past? Just let yesterday go! Even God has no interest in man’s past. He doesn’t enjoy recalling the former things. He even buries man’s sin in the sea of his forgetfulness. All he wants is to do a new thing. God’s view of the former is that it isn’t worth comparing to the latter, so deprive the past of the much emphasis.

Great Men Reach Out With Anticipation – Looking Forward

They are men who live a life of constant yearning. The longing for what is ahead is what makes life worthwhile for them. The essence of forgetting the past is to be enabled to have a proper sense of anticipation. These two cannot be carried out simultaneously. You must first forget the past in order to look forward to the future. The Apostle Paul remarked “…forgetting the things that are behind and straining to what lies ahead, I press towards the mark”. It is only focused men with the nerve to let go of their past that have what it takes to advance towards their goal in life. You must look forward to what lies ahead of you always and with enthusiasm. You must strain towards attaining your purpose in life. Be like the athlete whose only goal from the starting blocks is the breasting of the tape -  even the winning of the gold. Life isn’t worth anything if there’s nothing to look forward to. Begin to live life full of expectations and high expectations. Because according to Sam Walton, “high expectations hold the key to everything”. Let your hands be outstretched daily for what is to come (greatness and achievement). And then, strain ahead for it. Press for the home stretch. Do your best to reach what is ahead of you. Be like David Livingstone whose singular motto was, ”I’ll go anywhere, provided it is forward”.

THE ART OF TITHING ON DONATING 10%

A famous forex trader was sharing his experience with his class,

In 2002, when I was 20 years old, I went to a consulate to open Visa to Canada, and I saw a monk sitting in that waiting hall. He was shaved, wearing robes. I was very curious, as I’ve never seen a live monk before, so I sat next to him, and started asking him questions, basically trying to find out the reason to his madness. He explained to me that he was traveling around the world with his master, basically some other big and famous monk. But his master had Cancer, and this monk was a healer, so he was traveling around with his master, basically prolonging his master’s life as long as the could. I offered this monk a ride, and went to his temple. We met several times after, and he introduced me to some very interesting people, one of whom became my teacher. The guy who became my teacher was amazing. He was extremely wealthy, owning several large factories in his country. On the other hand he had a very deep spiritual side about him. He was a famous healer, and I’ve seen this guy and his students, perform miracles.  I’ve seen and personally participated in cases of AIDS and Parkinson’s permanently healed with medical tests before and after, proving it, but I am not even going to go there, because I’ve gotten into enough trouble over that, and most people won’t believe me anyway. We are talking about forex here, but the reason I brought up this story is very important. I was lucky enough to be a business partner of this teacher for a year, and he drilled into me something that completely transformed my financial life. He taught me to tithe, or donate at least 10% of my income regularly. You see, it seems like from my story before, I was making a lot of money with whatever I was doing, and I was, but somehow I could never keep much of it. Somehow I would make bad decisions and lose some of it, other times I would get screwed out of large sums by other people, other times I would go through some dry periods, where I wouldn’t make much, and simply spend what I had.

My teacher basically taught me that the most important thing in life if you want to generate wealth, is to donate at least 10% of your income regularly, and the keyword here is regularly. So being kind of dumb and naïve as I was, I just did what I was told to do, and I still do it. Since the day I started donating regularly, my income has been growing exponentially, and I’ve accumulated large sums of money.

I’ve experimented with donating as much as 30%, and I went through periods of donating absolutely nothing. Life becomes much tougher and a lot more problematic, when I stop donating. Yet, when I start donating as much as 30% of my income, a lot more opportunities come than I can handle, and to be honest, I think I am not saintly enough to be able to donate 30%. No matter how much I believe in this principle, it just seems like to much, and I can’t full heartedly give away that much yet, but 10% seems very natural to me now. And I can’t even tell you enough about the emotional rewards that come along with it.

You may think that this is some kind of voodoo, bullshit belief about 10% donating, but it’s really not. I can tell you from my experience, and I can tell you from experience of some very wealthy people that I know, unless you practice tithing, or donating 10%, life is a lot more difficult, making money is a lot more difficult, and keeping and accumulating money s a lot more difficult. All you have to do is try it for at least 6 months, and then stop doing it for 6 months, and you will see huge difference. Donating 10% is like a magic trick of attracting financial ease and luck into your life.

USING WHAT IS IN YOU BY E. W. KENYON

There is a gold mine hidden in every life. Nature never made a failure. Every man has success hidden away in his soul. No one else can find it but himself. He holds the key to the hidden room. Failure comes because we never sought out the hidden treasure. Failure comes because we tried to find it somewhere else. You can’t find it anywhere else.

Success, victory and achievement are in you. The exceptional people are those who develop what is within them. That quartet is winning fame and success because they developed what they had in them. Singly, they could not do it, but united, they make a harmony that thrills the heart. The soloist had it in her. It was there and she developed it and made it a commercial value.

I have seen three great baritones. One was a miner who, had he been not lazy and loved the companionship of drinking men and useless women, would have been known the world over. What a voice he had. I picked him up drunkard. I tried to make him a man of him. I bought him clothes. When it was known that Scotty was going to sing, the building could not hold the crowd. I said to him, “I don’t know whether my pianist can play the pieces that you want to sing without looking them over.” He looked at me with a peculiar expression and said, “I need no accompaniment.”

He stood by the piano that first night in his old mining cloth and sang. I closed my eyes and I could locate him because his voice utterly filled the whole room. He seemed to be everywhere in it. That great voice was strange, sweet and wonderful music. He made songs all over that he sang that night. I raised the money and sent him back to his own land. He promised to sing again. As a boy, he sang in Drewry, but he confessed he was drunk it took a man to hold him up. But he never amounted to anything. He did not develop the thing that was in him.

Genius has grown up to weeds about it, just because they did not develop the thing they had. I know it is hard work. There are no great gold nuggets lying on top of the earth now. You have to go down the earth for them; you must dig for them. You want the applause of the world? You want money to buy fine clothes and splendid houses? Awaken young men. Go find that hidden place in your nature. Dig and dig until you have conquered.

A father was dying, he had two sons. The boys had always felt that he had gold that he had hidden away somewhere. He had never been a strong, healthy man so his farm was not developed. At the back of the house, there was ten acres of stump land. When he was dying he said, “the stump lot”. Again and again he said, ”the stump lot”. As soon as the funeral was over, the boys said, “the gold is out in the stump lot”. How feverish they worked. They tore up every inch of it. But they found no gold. Then the older said, “we have the land in good condition, let’s put in corn”. In the autumn, they found in the ripened corn, the gold.

You have a stump lot in you, dig it up, clean it up and you will find the gold in it.

MAXIMIZING YOUR MOMENT BY UNDERSTANDING TIME AND CHANCE

Solomon who was considered the wisest man in his time, once remarked that he had looked through the whole earth and saw that the swiftest person does not always win the race nor the strongest man the battle. He had realized through his personal experiences and by observing the experiences of others around him, that life would never really appear fair. There is a factor in the equation of life that would make those who appear less qualified, less skilled for the job or for the promotion many a times get it ahead of the others. This factor is called rhythm.

He remarked that all things seem to happen by time and chance meaning that time will always present opportunities. Those that see them and maximize their moments would come out on top. This factor made him conclude that those who understand the principle of timing and know the importance of dictating the right moment, seeing the hidden opportunities in every season would ultimately be on top. There are those who have learnt to stand back in preparation when the time is not ripe and to strike fiercely when it has reached it fruition.

You would find that those people are adaptable, pleasant in uncomfortable situations, diligent in their work even when it might not be what they would ultimately want to do. Even Jesus who came as one greater than Solomon on the subject of wisdom and in the understanding of the affairs of life emphazised the principle of timing to the extent that he made it clear that those who miss the opportunities in the season they go through life would ultimately be punished by life itself. Every season you go through has a purpose. Not all are pleasant but when you discover the ways of God and fall in line, you will move out of the ‘rat race’ and the ’struggle’ into the place where you are carried by a flood into a position prepared for you. It is all about understanding in rhythm. Three things are important in seeing and maximizing you moments.

1.      1. You must be a diligent person in whatever your hand can find to do today.

2.     2. You must always keep yourself busy and work hard. Laziness and idleness would dull your perception and stifle your inner faculties.

3.     3.  Idleness and laziness attracts negative spirits that brings poverty into your life. It affects your inner man.

You might right now not have the positioning to decide on the type of job you would really want to do but you must work diligently in whatever your hands can find with joy in your heart and this attitude would prepare you for the future. You might find yourself by ‘accident’ in the midst of situations and people that are undesirable and thorny where you can’t of your own will change. You must discipline your heart to find joy and take pleasure in all of it.

This is where you learn the rhythm in the dance of success and destiny which no man can teach you. If you don’t have the rhythm of success in you, you just don’t have it. You may read books, listen to tapes but catching the rhythm is a different science. Association with those that understand the spirit of the times and who reflect the character required would help, but no man can transfer the rhythm. You must learn it yourself. Not all seasons ordained by God are pleasant.

In the natural world winter might not be particularly pleasant but there is nothing you can do to change it. It is part of the cycles of life, a season with a purpose and necessary for continuity of life. There would be time when you would have to go through things that are unpleasant but there is nothing you can do to change it. There would be times you would have to go through things that are unpleasant, when you would have to work at jobs you don’t like, but you get to learn to be diligent and learn joy during those times for through them, you would come to learn the rhythm of God in the dance of success, peace and joy in your life and that is the truth.

THE TWELVE MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS FROM GREAT MEN ON MONEY AND CAREER

1.       BE TENACIOUS:

“Anybody who can be a halfway, man but the one who rises above this class, is the one who keeps everlastingly pushing.”- J Ogden Armour.

More than any other , one lesson stands out from the books I have read: Never Give Up. If you have a goal or a dream, pursue it. If there is a cause that you truly believe in, then fight for it. That is not to say you should doggedly chase greed or gluttony, but that you should do your best to achieve those things that are important to you. Great men struggle through daunting obstacles to reach their destinations. In everything that you do, do your best. And remember, the road to wealth is paved with goals.

2.       EXERCISE SELF-CONTROL:

“Tis easier to suppress the first desire than to satisfy all that follows it”. Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin famously attempted to codify his quest for self-control. Franklin committed himself to thirteen virtues and he developed a system for tracking how disciplined he was in his daily pursuit of these ideals. There is nothing wrong with an occasional indulgence. But when the indulgence become a habit or worse, a vice this can affect your life. Even destroy it. If you have habits that prevent you from fulfilling your potentials, find a way to boost your self-control.

3.       DO THE RIGHT THING:

“To be truly rich, regardless of his fortune or lack of it, a man must live by his own values. If those values were not personally meaningful, then no amount of money gained can hide the emptiness of life without them”.-John Paul Getty

Have a code of honour and live by it. Your code of honour might come from your faith, or from your education or from your family. Whatever soured, live by these values. Life is filled with temptations. The more you accomplish, the more people will tempt you with offers for quick gains or passing pleasures. Many men succumb to these but those who rarely achieve what they might have if they had stuck to their principles. The books I have read are filled with stories of men who have resisted the urge to compromise and who believe that this has been a key to their success. Don’t cheat, be honest, work hard and embrace the golden rule.

4.       EMBRACE THE GOLDEN RULE:

“Good will is one of the few really important assets of life. A determined man can win almost anything that he goes after but unless, in his getting, he gains good will he has not profited much”.- Henry Ford

Success could be measured by how a man treated others (James Penny). In his book, Fifty Years with the golden rule, he describes his life-long adherence to this maxim: “Do unto other as you would have then do unto you”. Other great men believed the same. They believed that their fortune came not from pursuing money itself, but by producing something of value to others. But this principle also holds true outside of business. In your dealings with your friends, your family and with a stranger, treat others as you would like to be treated. Doing so builds social capital, strengthening the fibre of the community.

5.       PAY YOURSELF FIRST:

“Many a man is poor today, although he has worked like a slave, simply because he could not save”.- Orison Marden

Another common thread in most of these books and in personal-finance classics like the richest man in Babylon is the importance of saving. “Pay yourself first” the old adage goes and it’s a great advice. If you will set aside ten or twenty percent of all that you earn, your fortune will grow far beyond that of your peers. Some of these money should be invested in a manner that makes you comfortable. (You should be able to learn about the concept of asset allocation and diversification, if you haven’t already) some of your money should be set aside on a high-interest savings account to act as an emergency fund. When you save, when you pay yourself first, you are using the strength of your youth to insure your uncertain tomorrow.

6.       AVOID DEBT:

“Be assured that it gives much more pain to the mind to be in debt than to do without any article whatever which we may seem to want”.- Thomas Jefferson

Debt is slavery. When you owe money to another man, you are obligated to work for his benefit, not yours. Many young men struggle with debt. I did so myself. But those who are not able to overcome their spending habits are likely to find themselves always poor. When you pay interest to some else, you cannot earn interest for yourself. When you’re in debt, your options are limited. You cannot choose, you cannot quit a job you hate. If you do, how will your bills get paid? To be sure, a certain amount of debt is useful in business but make it a policy in your life never to borrow for something that will decrease in value. And if you’re already behind, make it priority to get out of debt as soon as possible.

7.       KEEP WELL:

“The foundation of success in life is good health: that is the substratum fortune; it is the basis of happiness. A person cannot accumulate a fortune very well when he is sick”.- P.T. Barnum

Your health is your greatest asset. If you lack health, you cannot work and cannot produce an income. Health allows you to engage in productive activities at work and at play. It allows you to enjoy the company of your friends and family. And it allows you to live with vigor. Guard your health. Do not neglect your body. Eat well. Exercise regularly. If you drink or smoke, do so in moderation. You will not live forever but with some care and foresight, you may get a little closer.

8.       DO NOT COVET:

“By wishing to be what he calls up-to-date as his friends or boon companions, many a young man mortgages his future”.- Orison Marden

If never pays to compare yourself to others. For one, you can find yourself longing to own the same things they do. Your best friend buys a new ford mustang and suddenly you want one too. The guys from work go out for drinks on Friday night but your are broke, the temptation to join in, to have what others have can be unbearable. Focus on only yourself and how the things you own and do relate to your goals. Don’t be jealous of others. (This is one message in the famous essay, “Acres of Diamonds”: instead of looking elsewhere for wealth, look at your own life.)

9.       LIVE MODESTLY:

“This, then is held to be the duty of the man of wealth… to set an example of modest, unostentatious living, shunning display or arrogance”-Andrew Carnegie.

This is the flip side to “Do Not Covet”. Just as you should not allow the behavior of your friends to influence your spending decisions, so too, be conscious of your influence on them. If you have money don’t flaunt it. And if you don’t have money don’t pretend you do. It’s fine to buy quality products, but don’t be flashy. Live simply and well.

10.   PRACTICE PATIENCE:

“No matter how great the talent or the effort, some things just take time: you can’t produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant”- Warren Buffet.

Too many men want to “get rich quick.”  They are on the lookout for fast money. They also want to lose weight now, to be great golfers now, to be in management now. This obsession with “now” is a problem. In his new book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell writes that the difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is in 10,000 hours. That is, those who achieve mastery have patiently practiced their craft for at least 10,000 hours which is the equivalent of five years of full-time work. When people ask me why my personal finance blog is so successful, one of my responses is that I have worked at it 60+ hours a week for the past three years. Practice may not “make perfect” but it certainly breeds success.

11.   GIVE GENEROUSLY:

“Thrift does not end with itself but extends its benefits to others it found hospitals, endows charities, establishes colleges and extends educational influences” – Samuel Smiles.

I was not raised in a culture of giving. Its only something I am beginning to learn in middle age. But as I read about the choices of men have come before me, it is clear that they have derived satisfaction (and done a lot of good) by giving generously not just money but also of time and knowledge. Do not hoard the things you have. Share them so that others might profit too.

12.   LEARNING FROM THE AVERAGE JOE:

Over the past few months, I have enjoyed reading the real-life stories of how great men became great. But I have also found it enlightening to read about the experiences of the average day guy the fellows like you and me. One book I strongly recommend (especially considering the state of the economy) is Hard Times by Studs Terkel. Hard Times is an oral history of the Great Depression. Terkel interviewed scores of men and women about their experiences during the 1930s. their stories are amazing and they can offer great insight about how we can live better lives today.

Go forth my friends and do great things.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure.
It is our Light, not our darkness, that most frightens
us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does
not serve the World.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so
that other people won’t feel unsure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God
that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine; we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the
same.
As we are liberated from our own fear; our
presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson

Speak to Boost Your Business and Career

Forget that speaking in front of others is the Number One Fear. Instead, look at it as an opportunity to get your message to many people simultaneously and sell yourself within your organization and to clients and customers. It can be one of your most effective marketing tools when you have honed your message and know your target market. It can also be a good way to grow your network and your database, with permission, of course.

Become a subject matter expert. Your first task is to define your areas of expertise. What do you do? How do you it differently? If self-employed, what service or product do you sell? If employed by someone else, do people seek you out as a resource or for advice on a topic? When I was at AT&T (the first one!), my name became synonymous with public relations. Today, my areas of expertise are business networking and communication skills. What’s your area?

Describe your topic. Choose a title or titles (use your creativity!) and write a short overview and learner benefits. Show people you are for real. Look as if you are an expert on the topic and a seasoned presenter. Never say, “I am thinking of speaking on thus and such topic.” Instead, “I speak on thus and such topic.” While employed at Bell Labs, a friend challenged me to develop my first class in communication. It was his opinion that I knew a lot; however, I didn’t have a beginning, middle or end. I picked up the gauntlet and developed an internal 10-week communication course for employees. And one thing lead to another …

Determine your target market. This is a major marketing ingredient that takes forethought and time. Make sure the people in the audience can use your services/products or refer you to people who can. Internally, choose audiences that can help further your career and enhance where you are and where you want to go.

Approach groups, organizations and internal entities that include your target market. If you are willing to speak for free (and most beginners do), you will find infinite opportunities. Suggestions include:

• Chambers of Commerce. Usually, you need to be a member to be considered, and you are a prime candidate since many chambers choose not to pay their presenters.

• Service Clubs. There are a plethora of Rotary, Kiwanis and Lions clubs that meet frequently and are looking for pro bono presentations.

• Not-for-profits (and their boards!). I cut a few teeth speaking on behalf of AT&T for the United Way in Chicago. These are eager audiences, and you also get satisfaction from giving as you get.

• Networking groups. Seek out local groups that are not part of a national, multi-chapter organization. They frequently are looking for specific subject-matter presentations at no cost.
• Other industry/professional/sorority-fraternity/interest-specific groups that meet monthly. Almost all of them offer programs to their members and most have a meager speaker budget, at best.

• Internal opportunities. Volunteer to head projects like the United Way, blood drive, and other outside activities your company supports. You’ll gain valuable experience and exposure speaking in front of your team and, sometime, the entire company. Also, jump at every chance to do business presentations in front of peers, managers, vendors and customers.

Benefits are myriad. First of all, it will help you conquer your fear of speaking. Secondly, it will increase your visibility and credibility as a subject matter expert. Thirdly, it will probably lead to more sales and more career success. It helps put you in the drivers’ seat!