The key to a successful relationship is undoubtedly good communication. For a relationship to work, couples must constantly communicate their thoughts and feelings to each other. However, as time goes by, couples lose interest communicating with each other. They run out of topics to talk about and conversations become monotonous. A slight mis-usage of words can easily metamorphose into an argument out of proportion. Couples start losing their loving connection and relationships become a chore rather than an avenue of enjoyment.
At Love Clinic, we have 4 golden communication rules which you should always keep in mind. They can be applied to maintain your relationship at its peak and prevent you from losing that important person in your life. To help you remember these rules, we have devised a mnemonic – L.O.V.E, where L stands for Listening, O for Open communication, V for Verbalising and E for Empathy.
Rule #1: Listening
You must have gathered from various websites or seminars that the key to effective communication is listening. We couldn’t agree more. If both parties can listen to each other well, they are more likely to understand each other’s ideas and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
How do you train yourself to listen effectively? In the initial stages, communicate with your partner with the same vigilance as if you are clinching a 100 million dollar deal. Listen actively to what he/she has to say, process in your brain the feelings he/she is experiencing and react accordingly. Paraphrase what you have gathered and ask questions to clarify when in doubt. Apply these principles to your every day communication. With practice, you will be able to capture your partner’s feelings even before he or she verbalizes it.
Rule #2: Open Communication
The second golden rule for effective communication is to communicate openly and sincerely. Be honest in whatever you say and try not to lie to the other party. Share with each other your thoughts and ideas and update the other party on your every day life. As far as possible, do not hide anything from each other. Share secrets so that the other party will feel that he/she occupies an important position in your life.
If you communicate openly with your partner at a regular basis in an honest manner, it will minimize the likelihood of the other party guessing about what you are thinking or doing and hence, reduce the chances of misunderstandings happening.
Rule #3: Verbalising
Thirdly, do not expect your partner to read your mind. Always verbalize your wants and needs to the other party. For example, if you are unhappy about what he/she has done, tell him/her in a tactful way, or else the other party may never know your displeasure. If you really love him/her very much, whisper words of love sweetly into his/her ears.
Through continued verbalization of your thoughts and feelings, a better mutual understanding will develop, which will in turn bring your relationship to greater heights.
Rule #4: Empathy
It has been said that the language of love is not words, but meanings. Hence, it is important to try and understand the other party’s feelings when communicating. Appreciate the other party’s ideas, concerns and expectations and try to see things from his/her perspective. If there are conflicting view points, try to put yourself in the other party’s shoes and identify with each other. With more empathy and concern, your partner will feel loved and this will open up new channels for effective communication.
In conclusion, always remember these 4 golden rules and communicate with L.O.V.E. This not only cuts down on arguments but also bring both parties closer physically and emotionally.
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