How to Win When Your Mate Cheats

So the person you love cheated. You are raging (!), you feel humiliated and played, and you probably want to murder the lying traitor. (I know; I've been there!) But now, what are you REALLY gonna do? When a betrayal happens TO you, it really happens FOR you. Betrayal signals that your relationship has been on shaky ground. You can either avoid this truth, or you can finally do something about it. You can choose to: 1. Become a "poor me" VICTIM. Depressing! 2. Become a vengeful FIGHTER. Exhausting! 3. Become a take-charge WINNER. Triumphant!! Betrayal can move you toward a richer future, IF YOU USE IT AS A TOOL FOR HEALING. BETRAYAL AS A TOOL FOR HEALING involves 10 Must-Knows: 1. YOU MUST KNOW the definition of a cheataholic: cheataholic, n. 1. Sl. love junkie. 2. person addicted to hidden passions, secret flirtations, and illicit romances behind the back of an unsuspecting partner. 3. Biochem. person who repeatedly seeks the rush of exhilaration that accompanies falling in love. 2. YOU MUST KNOW that cheataholics are not motivated by sex alone. They are your average Jack or Jill who entered a committed union with the best of intentions. Acknowledging that the thrill is gone, they are now terrified that they no longer are appealing. They are so desperate to prove their (sexual) worth, they put their own needs above others and engage in unsavory and dangerous activities. 3. YOU MUST KNOW that the 7-year itch has gotten younger, and like your car, you must invest in attention and maintenance from the moment you begin to love. If you slack off, your mate may feel abandoned and act out, particularly if s/he is insecure. 4. YOU MUST KNOW that despite the screaming headlines of infidelity from Christie Brinkley's husband, Madonna, A-Rod, former Governor Eliot Spitzer, and more, there are still 2.5 million weddings each year in the U.S. The industry spends $40 - $70 BILLION annually, as people still opt for marriage and monogamy! 5. YOU MUST KNOW that the one you love is the one you'll leave. The qualities you found endearing at first can eventually wear on you: the careful money manager is now seen as a tightwad; the powerful mate is now seen as controlling. Recognize what originally turned you on, and continue to embrace it. 6. YOU MUST KNOW that the fear of lovelessness is real. The only way around that is to love yourself unconditionally so you can project to others how they can love you. 7. YOU MUST KNOW that you can unlearn the behaviors that haven't served you. After a betrayal, 65% of mates stay together, and with guidance, build a stronger union. Of the 35% who split, most question why they waited so long. 8. YOU MUST KNOW how to recognize relationship Red Flags when you see them-and leave skid marks beside the people who don't enhance YOU. 9. YOU MUST KNOW that there are 4 coping skills for dealing with a betrayer: avoidance, coercion, soothing, and confrontation-the last of which is the ONLY one that can really heal your woes. 10. YOU MUST KNOW that you have the power to mend or to end your suffering. The only question is whether you are ready and willing. ARE YOU?

Signs of a Cheater - How to Know If Your Partner is Being Unfaithful With You

Cheating seems to be something that is happening more and more as time passes by. It has almost become a trend. You are part of the norm if you or someone else has cheated. Unfortunately it has caused a whirlwind of devastating results, and it seems that there is more hurt, conflict and dysfunction going around then ever before. Cheating isn't just a sexual thing. It can be done in the form of satisfying emotional needs. Just through friendship, if your partner seeks emotional fulfillment through another person this is just as much cheating as connecting physically. Whatever your case may be, it is important to know if your partner is being unfaithful to you. Here are the following signs. Signs Of An Intimate Encounter- This is the most easiest to identify. If your partner frequently leaves the room to answer calls, distances themselves from you regularly, if they are more confrontational and irritable than usual, or if they have a peculiar odor. Know that any of these are possible signs that your partner is being unfaithful. You need to look into this more carefully, and you can do so by becoming very inquisitive with them. Ask them a lot of questions and make it clear that you are on to something. They will probably avoid answering, by making a lot of excuses or constantly changing the subject. You should not let this go unexamined. Take all the measures possible to get to the bottom of this. Look For Hints Of Intimate Conversation- This can take form in the way of texting, emails, phone calls at weird hours, cyberchatting, letters. This requires some detective work to determine whether in fact your partner is engaging in one of these cheating activities. The good thing is that you have technology on your side. There are a variety of tools available to take all the guesswork out of any means of communication that uses electronics. For cell phones, you have "phone detective" which gathers all deleted messages, numbers, contacts, etc. You can use this to figure out whether or not your partner had any intimate call behind your back. You can use "message logging software" for you computer which records all activities that take place on it. If your partner is having late night chat sessions, or webcam chats, you will have access to all of their activities, through the software. And the most simple easy-to-use program is the "reverse phone lookout" All you have to do here is enter the number of the person you suspect, and you will have all the personal information for this number. Now That You Have All The Tools- You will be able to get to the bottom of this now. If in fact they are cheating, don't let it bring you down. Your partner should be pitied for doing things in such a uncaring, deceptive way. They have obviously no standards, and this is not your problem to worry about.

Get Tips on Fixing a Broken Relationship

When it comes to useful tips on fixing a broken relationship one of the things we hear all the time is that couples need to work on how they communicate. That may sound weird to a lot of people, they may think: we talk all the time. But talking and communicating may not be the same thing. It's important that you both learn how to listen to the other person too. But even this isn't enough, since it's very easy to hear what you want to hear and not what is being said. It's also easy for the person who is talking to not express themselves clearly which can open the door to misunderstandings. For all these reasons, and the myriad of ways your communication can go awry (without either of your realizing what is going on) it's often best to get an outside source to help the two of you learn better ways of communicating. This outside source can be a trained therapist who can teach you new techniques and allow you to 'practice' on new and better ways of expressing yourself and hearing what the other person is really saying. Again, this may sound weird, but think about it for a minute. Haven't you ever had an occasion where you were talking to your partner and you asked them if they wanted to do something and they said 'yes', but you could tell by their tone, the way they held their head, or other body language cues that the real answer was 'no'? I know that happens all the time with me and my partner, and I'll bet you can remember it happening to you too, if you try. This is a classic example of poor communicating. In this case I'm not hearing what they say but I'm hearing what they mean, they are the ones who aren't clearly communicating what they really want. This is a small and unimportant example, but what do you think happens in relationships when this type of miscommunication happens all the time, with big important subjects as well as small inconsequential things? That's why most couples who want to work on their relationship need to target their communication skills first. If you and your partner aren't comfortable with (or don't have the money for) talking to a therapist, there are many wonderful self help books around that can help you fix the problems in your relationship. You can easily get some online, and many of them are sold as ebooks so you can download them immediately. You can also go to your local library and get them for free, or your local bookstore. The choice is yours, but it's nice to have a choice! If you want to work on your relationship I highly recommend you start with these tips on fixing a broken relationship since communication (or lack thereof) is one of the biggest problems any couple will face and it's often tough to spot or even realize that's what the problem is. Save Your Relationship with the 21 Basic Laws Of Successful Relationships.Click Here!

Are You Ready For Your Ideal Relationship?

What does it take to be ready for a new relationship? Some people have a tendency to jump into a new relationship too soon wondering why it doesn't work out for them in the end. While others let the fear of intimacy take over and keep themselves single saying they are not ready. This article will outline three major points of what it takes to be ready and hopefully give you an idea of where you stand. This is a good question, what does it take to be ready for a relationship? How do you know if you are ready? Chances are that if you meet someone you really like before you're ready for a commitment, your relationship will not work out. Most likely one of the two things will happen: you will either leave the relationship because you're not ready to commit or this person will leave you because she or he doesn't quite feel the same about you. In other words, you can't be fully available to anyone until you are ready, therefore you will most likely attract unavailable partners. The good news is that you can prevent this from happening and you can create your ideal relationship by learning how to become emotionally available to yourself and therefore get yourself ready. To be ready for your next healthy loving relationship you need three things. One, you need to be at piece with all your feelings about all your past relationships. Two, you need to know what you want in your next relationship and finally, accept yourself as being good enough for the kind of person you wish to attract. Now lets get into more details about this. How can you reach closure with all your previous relationships? I can tell you right now that the biggest blocks that will surely stop you from attracting your soul mate is still having strong feelings for someone in your past. Whether you are actually still in love with your ex or not, you may still have resentments, unresolved anger, guild or blame - any feelings, positive or negative will only indicate that you still have feelings. You may be able to attract someone new, but you will not be able to be fully available to this person. Getting closure doesn't have to involve contact with your ex. A closure is something that has to come from within you and all you need is yourself and your willingness to let go. More importantly, you need to forgive yourself and forgive your ex for what happened or did not happen. Now that you have put your past behind you, let's look into your future. What kind of relationship do you wish to attract? Saying, "someone whom I would love, who would also love me," is not enough. You need to be more specific about what you need, what works well for you and what does not work with your personality. Most people think they know what they want when they see it, but it doesn't work this way. You have to know what you want first, then you will be able to see it. Until you know exactly what you want, you will be attracting emotionally unavailable men or women who will only meet your needs partially but not completely. Though it is important to be physically attracted to your mate, don't get too hung up on physical characteristics. You want to be open, not controlling. Sometimes we have tendencies to diminish or limit ourselves when we talk about what we want because we don't believe we can have it. When it comes to love, the last thing you want to do is limit yourself. Love has no limits and neither should your ability to attract your ideal relationship. Don't settle for anything less than what you want or deserve. My Healthy Relationship. Created By World Renowned Hypnotherapist Steve G. Jones, My Healthy Relationship Is Designed To Help You Enhance Any Relationship. This Is An Audio Program Consisting Of 4 Modules And A Self Hypnosis Session.Click Here!